Tuesday, March 22, 2011

So this crouton walks into a band......

and lodges itself FIRMLY, and refuses to budge!

See, I took triplets #2 and #3 to boy scouts Friday night, to get their swimming testing done for summer camp. It was already 6:30, and I hadn't eaten dinner, and I was HUNGRY!

So, I made myself a lovely romaine salad, with diced cucumbers, bell peppers, red onions, sunflower seeds, a handful of croutons, and my favorite dressing:

Yes, Hidden Valley, Farmhouse Originals, Roasted Onion Parmesan. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

So, chit chatting with other moms, I fought with this salad. FOUGHT with it. I got "slime" warnings over and over again (anyone else get small warnings? Not a P/B, not a full on slime....... just a little slime, that says gently 'hey..... wait a few minutes before you take another bite')

So, I fought with the salad for two hours, and barely ate 1/2 of it. I got it home, and said to my salad "DAMMIT, you ARE going down" and I took a big bite, with a crouton in it.

Well......... SHIT.

A warning, then a spasm let me know that in no uncertain terms, I AM an asshole.

Not only that...... but it was BEDTIME. So I marched upstairs, not able to say a word to anyone, since my mouth was filled with spit/slime.

AND..... being the asshole I am, I decided, you know what? I'm too damned tired to play this spasm game, I'm going to BED.

So I layed there, and my esophagus spasmed, and then I'd hear a gurgle. And it happened again, and another gurgle. The third time, I got a piece of lettuce back, with acid for good measure.

So, I got up, and sat on my makeup chair, and waited it out. FINALLY, the set of 3 hiccups that tell me my ordeal is over come, and I lay down, and sleep the sleep of the dead.

7:30 Saturday morning, I mosey downstairs to get a nice cup of Joe. I drink about 2 mouthfuls, and say to self "DAMN....... this band is TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT" I'm sliming on the coffee.

I realized that I probably did some damage the night before, and put myself on liquids/mushies for the rest of the weekend.

3/4 of the way into my cup of joe, I start having persistence heartburn. Cripes. Rolaids to the rescue, but already, I'm on the internet, praying I haven't slipped my band.

I called my dr's office Monday morning, and talked to my favorite nurse, and she agreed, I pissed off the band. She said it was up to me, I could wait a few more days, or come in and get a .5cc unfill.

So... I didn't go.

Not yet.

I was able to get some solids in today...... I did get warnings, a little slime, but no spasms.

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