Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My Daily BANDWidth

Date: April 25, 2011
Banded: August 6, 2009
Approximately 1-1/2 years out

Blueberry Smoothie

I use a Cuisinart SmartPower Blender:

1 Cup Frozen Blueberries, Walmart Brand

1 Cup of Kale. I usually use fresh Kale, but when I'm outI use frozen Kale that I get from Whole Foods (365 Everyday Value Brand):

1 two-inch cube of Trader Joe's Organic Tofu:

2 TBSP. Ground Flax. I use Bob's Red Mill. When I open it, I transfer it to one of those twist-n-loc ziploc containers, so I can keep it in the fridge:

1 Cup Diet V8 Splash

1 scoop of Jay Robb 100% Egg White Protein, Vanilla

Here's the whole Motley-Crüe:

and here's what it looks like assembled:

CARBmaster carrot cake yogurt
a sprinkling of chopped walnuts
a few shakes of cinnamon

Green Chili Stew

a glass of Pinot Grigio
a few slices of Muenster
CarbSmart Vanilla yogurt with homemade granola

1136 calories for the day

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Who's that skinny bitch in that mirror there? (what mirror, where?)

Yes, a small call-out to "West Side Story" with the post title there (I Feel Pretty.....)

So....... I'm walking with one of my sons to the doctor's office, and as we're approaching the building, I see another woman walking towards me, and I think to my self:

"If I could be that woman's size, I'd be thrilled...... oh, to be that size"

Then, I realized something.


That woman is ME....... it was my reflection in the glass of the building we were walking into!

Talk about mirror distortion! I totally didn't realize it was me..... walking towards me!

I find it amazing that my mind plays the tricks that it does!

Next, I'm going to listen to myself on the answering machine (cuz that certainly doesn't sound like ME! I sound like a sexy minx..... not that nasal woman on my answering machine!)

BTW....... has your voice changed? I found that when I was much heavier, I sounded nasal-ish? Not sure if I still sound that way?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

My Daily BANDWidth

Date: April 18, 2011
Banded: August 6, 2009
Approximately 1-1/2 years out

Blueberry Smoothie & Plenty o' coffee

I've changed the recipe just slightly for this:

1 C. Frozen Blueberries
1 C. Diet V8 Splash Tropical
1 two inch cube Tofu
2 TBSP Flaxmeal
2 TBSP Psyllium Husks
1 Scoop Jay Robb Egg White Protein Powder
1 Cup Kale, torn into pieces, no stems (or seeds that we don't need.......)

CARBmaster Carrot Cake Yogurt with about 1/8 cup of chopped walnuts and a sprinkling of cinnamon

Karen's Crockpot Vegetarian Chili
I had a generous 1 - 1-1/2 cup serving

Here's the recipe:

Karen's Crockpot Vegetarian Chili

1 Can Black Beans (drained and rinsed)
1 Can Black Beans (drained and rinsed, and then put in blender with some water, and puree it)
1 Can Garbanzo Beans, drained and rinsed
1 Can Pinto Beans, drained and rinsed
1 Can Diced Tomatoes, not drained
1 Can Corn, drained
1 Medium Onion, diced
1 Bell Pepper, diced
2 Ribs Celery, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced (I use jarred garlic, that's already minced....)
2 Tablespoons chili powder
1 Tablespoon dried parsley
1 Tablespoon dried oregano
1 Tablespoon dried basil
(like it hot? Add a tablespoon of cayenne...... yummmmmmmmmm)

Put everything in your crockpot, stir it up, and set on low for the day. (if you need it quick, you can do the high setting for 2 hours...... otherwise, it's ready in about 6 hours on low)

CARBmaster Vanilla Yogurt with homemade Low-Fat Orange Vanilla Granola
1 glass of Charles Shaw (3 buck Chuck to those who know) Pinot Grigio
2 small pieces Muenster Cheese

I forgot to take a pix AGAIN! Ooops!

because I forgot to take the picture, I will give you the yummy recipe for the granola!!

Karen's Low-Fat Orange Vanilla Granola

2 Cups Old Fashioned Oatmeal (gluten free if you're sensitive like me)
1 Cup Steel Cut Oats
1/2 Cup Flaxmeal
1/2 Cup mixed nuts, chopped (I use walnuts, almonds and pecans)

3 TBSP Honey
Grated peel from one orange
All the juice, from the naked orange
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup splenda (truvia, stevia..... whichever sweetener you prefer)
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Dried unsweetened fruit (blueberries, cherries, raisins, etc)

Mix the oatmeal, oats, flax and nuts in one bowl.

In a small saucepan, grate the orange peel, then squeeze all the juice from the orange into that. Add the vanilla, splenda, honey and cinnamon. Put over medium heat, and stir until everything is mixed together well, and the honey seems liquified. Don't boil it.

Pour the contents from the saucepan into the oat mixture, and mix together well. Spread into jelly roll pan (or rimmed cookie sheet) and cook at 325° for 30 minutes. Once it's been cooking 15 minutes, take it out, stir it up, spread it out, and put back in oven for remaining 15 minutes.

When done, take it out, mix it up again, and let it cool. If you want, add in some dried unsweetened blueberries, cherries, etc. Put in airtight container, and keep in fridge.

I use about 1 tablespoon worth mixed into my yogurt, mix in some cinnamon, and then stir it up. YUM!

Calories for the day: 1,108

Here's the rest of the nutrients for the day's meals:

Here's me, RIGHT BEFORE my lap-band surgery...... taking a pix in the changing room

And here's me today, with my brand new haircut/color
oh.... and my size L (that would be an EIGHT!) Roots Hoodie.... my new go-to hoodie, since it's never going to stop snowing in the D!

Sunday, April 17, 2011


I generally take a picture every time I lose another 20 pounds.... I had said that I'd move to every 5-10 pounds, but here I am, 10 pounds from goal, and haven't had a chance to do it.

I didn't have that specialkindasomethin' to put makeup on today..... I did moisturize, but pigments aren't gonna happen today. Meh!



Can you tell the difference? I think I can? That other picture was taken around Thanksgiving.... cuz that's the outfit I wore to Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt's house. That might have even been that morning.

Do you think my hair is any longer? I've been wanting to grow it a bit.... another 2-3 inches (my stylist says hair may NOT pass boobs.... apparently, that's a "rule".... anything longer than boobs looks bad? Who knew? Obviously not Miley Cyrus...... last time I saw her on TV on SNL, it was WAY past her boobs! I know this, cuz my stylist said "do NOT pass boobs" and now I notice each and every hair/boob infraction. I'm going to start handing out tickets!)

BTW...... my surgery is EXACTLY 2 months from today!

Can I lose these last few pounds to get there? I wish I had a sauna..... I'd sweat it off. I love a good sauna. (and...... wasn't I PISSED when the one at the Hilton Niagra Falls was broken!!)


Remember that awesome size 10 skirt that I bought on clearance at JCPenney for $10? 

Here's a picture of said skirt, so you remember:

And here's a picture of me WEARING it!! 

Granted, I am currently unable to SIT in this skirt, but the mofo is zipped, and considering I couldn't get it over my hips when I bought it, this is a huge victory!!

I am having issues of "muffin topping" over this (and others) but it's not fat skin that's hanging..... it's LOOSE skin. (2 more months, 2 more months)


Remember her?

Yeah..... me neither!

(BTW..... that's me, and BFF Michelle, in March, 2009)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Recipe: Whole Grain, Low Fat, Sugar Free, Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Muffins!

I'm one of those "change it up" people when it comes to recipes. Mostly because, I want to healthy it up :)

Triplet #1 was asking if I would make Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Muffins for a breakfast on the weekends.  He's a picky-picky- PICKY eater. I'd like him to eat more vegetables. Then I was thinking.... "I think there's muffin recipes out there that have zucchini in them....." and I was on the hunt.

This is my adaptation. They are MOIST, dense, and almost brownie-like. My husband LOVES them. Considering he loves to despise things, I was shocked that even HE has asked for me to make these again. And again!

So....... here it is. Adapt as you wish:

Karen's Whole Grain, Low-Fat, Sugar Free Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Muffins
(surprise.... there's fruits and vegetables in this!)

Makes 12 Muffins

Preheat oven to 350°F

1/2 Cup Whole Wheat Flour*
1/2 Cup Rice Flour*
1/2 Cup Sorghum Flour*
1 (1 ounce) Box Sugar Free Fat Free Instant Chocolate Pudding

1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup Splenda or Truvia (or whatever sweetener you prefer)

*(or whatever other wholegrain flour you have, spelt, brown rice, etc.... you can mix your flours however you'd like, but it needs to be 1-1/2 cups worth... if making it gluten-free, you'll need to add 1 teaspoon Xanthan gum..... but if you're a gluten-free foodie, you knew that already, didn't you?? :)

2 eggs
1/4 Cup Oil
1/4 Cup unsweetened applesauce
1/4 Cup Fat Free Milk
1 Tablespoon Lemon Juice
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup shredded zucchini (I suggest pureeing it... it hides it assimilates better)

1/2 cup Hershey's sugar free chocolate chips

Mix all dry ingredients together in one bowl (don't add chocolate chips yet) Mix all wet ingredients in another bowl. Combine wet into dry, until evenly moist. Batter will be thick. Mix in chocolate chips.

Divide evenly in a cupcake pan that makes 12 cupcakes. (either use paper inserts, or spray generously with oil)

Cook about 25 minutes. They rise, but not greatly.

They're delish.... careful though, those chocolate chips if eaten in high quantities, can have a laxative effect.

As usual, I've popped all the nutrients into LoseIt.com and got these number for one muffin. A good meal replacement.... the sugar alcohols are about 9 per muffin, so you know.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My Daily BANDWidth

Banded: August 6, 2009
Today: April 11, 2011
Just over 1-1/2 years Post-Op

I get my nutritional values from LoseIt.com, and I make sure I put in all my product's values, so these are as close as possible. If you're not a member, give it a try! I'll even be your 'friend' on LoseIt!


Blueberry Protein Smoothie

1 Cup frozen blueberries
1 Cup Diet V8 Splash
1 two inch cube, Tofu
2 TBSP. Ground Flax
1 Scoop, Jay Robb Protein Powder

(Calories: 329, Fat: 9.2, Salt 423mg, Carb 30, Fiber 9, Sugar 14, Protein 32)

What? A smoothie??!! Isn't that SLIDER food???!

Yes it is..... however, I'm always pretty tight in the morning, and have found that this sucker keeps me full. I always have breakfast at 9am sharp, and I don't hear any rumbly-grumblies until at least 12 noon. Three hours satisfied is "Workin' the Band" my friends. 


CARBMaster Carrot Cake Yogurt
1/8 TBSP chopped walnuts
1/8 TBSP Trader Joe's Jumbo Raisins

(Calories: 206, Fat 9.7, salt 105, Carb 21, Fiber 2, Sugar 17.8, Protein 11.4)


an 8 ounce glass of Fat Free Milk 30 minutes BEFORE dinner

Sauteed Zucchini, Summer Squash and onions in a few sprays of olive oil

Trader Joe's Roasted Corn

Roasted potatoes/sweet potatoes

Chicken Tenderloins with 1/2 cup greek yogurt, 1/2 cup hot picante (mixed together)
topped with a bit of shredded cheddar and shredded monteray jack

My Dinner Plate!
I use Slimware dinner plates, so I make sure my portions are RIGHT!

Calories: 387 (including the milk above, and the gelatin below)

Strawberry Jello wtih a smash of whipped cream


I forgot to take a pix, but I had a Carbsmart Vanilla yogurt, with some homemade Low-Fat Vanilla Orange Granola, and 2 ounces of Muenster Cheese :)

Day's Nutritionals:


Saturated Fat9.5g

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Know what I like?

I used to weigh 217 pounds more than my husband does.

Now I weigh 11 pounds more than he does.

I used to weigh 186 pounds more than my BFF.

Now I weigh 7 pounds LESS than she does. (and she's happy about it..... that's what a BFF is all about :)

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Have Hips??

I spoke yesterday of going through my spring/summer clothes, to consign out.

I had bought some DARLING clothes, when I was a 26/28 (let's be honest..... I was busting out of my 30/32 clothes) that were all size 22/24.  I had myself a Lane Bryant Grand-Mal Seizure, and spent $1000.00 in one day, buying all the cute stuff I was craving, because I **was** going to fit into it.

And then it all hung in my closet, with all the price tags still intact. 

And they hung there.

And hung there.

And then one or two things fit........ kinda snug........ so then they hung there.

My closet was SO packed with clothes, that the bar came crashing down about 2 years ago. Hubby put it back up. It fell back down, he put it up, it fell down. He essentially secured that sucker with support beams that go 1/2 way to China, and then it didn't fall again.

But the clothes still hung there.

Cute, darling, springy/summery clothes.

Then came August 2009....... I got my lap-band, and all was right with the world. Until I realized, I hadn't consulted my star/moon/planet alignment.


By the time the spring/summer rolled around in 2010, everything was too big. 


I leave it all in the closet, thinking that perhaps magically, the Seamstress Fairy will show up, and make it all fit.

Fast forward, "Spring 2011" (I use that term loosely, cuz here in the D, it's still FREAKING SNOWING) and I try on that cute, cute blue skirt with the flower sewn on. It never fit, I always wanted it to fit. It was the skirt I always wanted to fit. Then I watched it fall to the floor when I tried it on. I wrapped it around me 1.5 times, and still....... HUGE.

I sighed..... looked at the tag that said "You never wore me, bitch" and said "someone will wear you my friend"

I was wishing for a Plus-Sized Consignment store..... and let it go.

THEN....... last weekend, I was reading the newspaper, and don't you know it?!?! A brand new consignment store! It caters to sizes 12 and up! They're looking for spring/summer clothes!

So I packed up two huge bags, and went on my merry way!

The name of the store is HIPS (how cute is that??)

Here's a linky:

Metro Detroit Ladies....... 


Cute, cute, CUTE clothes! This is not your Grandma's Plus Size Store (Catherine's.... I'm looking at you!) 

This Stuff is Trendy!

This Stuff is HOT!

This Stuff is Plus-Sized..... consignment (actually Re-Sale Shop) with FLAIR!

It's so totally BOUTIQUE.....

I sold about 3/4 of what I brought in (score!) and am so happy to know that someone else will be able to use these clothes!

BTW....... the prices?!? Best I've seen!

They had a pair of those "7 For All Mankind" jeans..... for $36.00! OMFG!

So..... Metro Detroit.... you FINALLY have it, a Plus Sized Resale Consignment Shop that's trendy, priced fairly, and just AWESOME!

Friday, April 8, 2011


What do you think??

If you're joining me in this little venture, please feel free to snag the graphic, and use it on your blog too.

Posting to "lameasslogos.com" or similar ilk will be punishable by law (or by me..... but I know a cop!)

Dr. Oz and the Lap-Band Patient.... Something Wicked This Way Come!

So, I was catching up on my blog-reading, and saw that the famous Cheese and Sunkist AMY had written about Dr. Oz's show that featured lap-band patients, one at 6 years out, one at 6 months out.

I had SOOOOOO planned on DVRing this show, but with having that boy scout camp sleep-over, and then leaving for Canada a day later for our 4 day trip to Niagra Falls/Toronto, it must have slipped past me :/ I'm hoping to find a copy of the show online. If someone knows where I can find it, let me know :)

ANYWAY.... the 6 month out representative, apparently, wasn't representing.

To quote Amy.......

"They featured two lapband patients, one 6 years out, one 6 months out.  And they showed how much each ate now that they were banded.  The girls 6 months out...get this...

breakfast:  6 tablespoons of yogurt
lunch:  maybe a cup of broth
dinner:  crap...I can't remember...but is wasnt solid either."

I'm sure everyone has bleated on about this..... but I'm gonna add my 22¢ too, cuz I roll like that :)

SIX TABLESPOONS of yogurt? I **know** I ate more than that once I went off mushies, directly after surgery!

I distinctly remember having a McDonald's cheeseburger and small fry when I went to my nephew's wedding in Tiverton, Canada...... on September 27th, 2009...... about six WEEKS out.

I remember being STOKED that it filled me up.

Stoked, because I **would** have eaten (pre-band) a Super-Sized two cheeseburger meal (2 cheeseburgers, 1 extra large fries, 1 extra large Diet Coke) and perhaps an additional cheeseburger. Maybe even a caramel sundae. Without any discomfort, and I would have probably been grazing afterwards.

I'm not sure what's going on with Miss 6 Months Out, but she needs to find herself a NEW doctor?! No one should be eating that little, or that slider, 6 months out. I'd hate to see her blood iron and protein levels??

Amy wrote to Dr. Oz, so I'm sure they'll be lunching soon...... but she also mentioned something else in her post that got me thinking. Thinking about Shelly, who write this fabulous blog: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/  She writes a post, not sure if it's weekly, bi-weekly, a few times a week, or what...... but it's called "A day in my pouch" where she takes pictures, and describes everything she eats that day. She even gives recipe directions, of which I have taken notes on! She's got some yummy stuff on there! She's a gastric by-pass person, so some of the recipes might not be as band-friendly, but there's plenty that are, and you'll be happy you went!

ANYWAY..... Amy mentioned she would like to see us banded bloggers do something similiar.... show people what you are eating, and how far out from surgery you are, so those that are interested, newly banded, or in need of some REAL data (6 tbsp. of yogurt...... c'mon!) So I am suggesting this to anyone who's willing.

We write a post, every so often, whether it be daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly.... heck, every six months. Pix are nice, but not necessary. Recipes are nice, but also not necessary. With a simple log of everything you ate in that day. 

I even thought of a catchy name! Ready for it?  

"My Daily BAND-Width"

C'mon, I know you want to smile, it's that cute.

I'm not sure if anyone else will join me, but I'm going to start doing it. I'll do it once a week.... and I'll probably start on Monday. I will be taking pix, and posting recipes, since I think it's important that if we find a recipe that's Band-tastic, that we share with the class, since there's so many of us that have our top 10 foods we just CANNOT eat.

And since I'm a graphic artist....... Imma gonna hafta make a cute little graphic for it!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...................... she rambles on

Did I mention that I feel 1 MILLION percent better after getting that little un-fill? That's all it took, and within 2 days, I was completely back to normal. I am a complete MORON for waiting more than a few days to get that un-fill (especially since I'm getting fills/un-fills free now)

I took my boys (including hubby..... he is certainly one of my boys!) to Niagra Falls/Toronto for a spring break vacation. Note to anyone wanting to go to Niagra Falls: it's almost deserted this time of year! We were first in line for everything!

We did all the touristy crap, except for Maid of the Mist..... too cold for my blood to be cold and WET.

The best thing about our trip though, for me, is that I came home after 4 straight days of restaurant eating, to an all-time low of 183.6!!

I was SUPER diligent about what I ordered, and often got 'warnings' (not sure if you guys get warnings first, and then get stuck. I get a warning first, I slime a LITTLE, I get a full feeling, kinda like Thanksgiving days of yore..... just a little pressure, to say "slow down!!") but I ate smart! The only disappointment was that I got a shrimp plate at Rainforest Cafe, and could only eat the veggies and caribbean rice. Shrimp are now off the list of food that can make it past my band. I'm thinking green beans might be off the list too, unless I cook them down pretty soft!

I was concerned that I'd be a little up, not from bad choices, but because I had no control over SODIUM. I'm a bloaty-bloat-bloat, and definitely suffer the wrath. Add to that, all that WALKING! Not to mention, that I have a "shy colon" when I'm traveling. I could be away from home for 3 weeks, and wouldn't poop ONCE whilst away. Thankfully, I went the morning before we left, and I went within an hour of getting home. Still not back to normal, but nothing a little fiber can't fix. :D Aren't you glad you stopped by? If nothing else, you got an unsolicited poop story :)

I got a letter today from the hospital that's hosting my exorcism...... (exERcism perhaps? I'm having the skin exorcized from my body... and since I'm paying for the whole party, I can NAME it, dammit!) Essentially telling me that I need to cough up the dough no later than 1 week prior to surgery. I already put down a $6K deposit, then I need to pay the other $6K (that's for my surgeon) and then $3530.00 to the hospital. Anethesia apparently bills later, to the tune of $1500. So, I'll pay the hospital about 2 weeks before they need it. Cushions people..... we all need them. I don't trust anyone to even TAKE my money without making some sort of error :)

BTW...... apparently grilled/broiled vegetables are my new besties. They go down my band like ice cream on a hot day. Zucchini, summer squash, broccoli, red onions, carrots, sweet potatoes, red-green-yellow bell peppers..... I have a feeling that "stir fry" and "grilled vegetables" are going to be peppered a-plenty throughout my spring/summer fare.

Triplet #3 is going to help me do my vegetable/fruit gardening this season, since I'll be around to start it all, but then will have to take a hiatus to heal from arm/boob/tummy surgery. I'm planning tomatoes, potatoes, onions, jalapenos, bell peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, summer squash, green beans........ we have blueberries growing between my house and my neighbors that we planted 2 years ago, and we've been able to get berries since last year. I think instead of growing strawberries, we'll go picking again this year, and then with 1/2 the yield, I'll make my sugar-free jam, and can it. I'll be making and canning salsa as well, and if we get too many tomatoes at once, I'll crush/can them as well.

I've been looking for a plus-size consignment store that's local, because I have some beautiful clothes, many with tags, that I'd like to say goodbye to. I'd love to get in on the action of "the traveling pants" with the bandsters, but honestly, with this surgery pending, I'd love to be able to build up the funds that I'm depleting for the surgery. Well....... the universe must have been listening, because don't you know, there was a write-up about a brand-spanking new Plus-Sized consignment store that opened, and it's somewhat local (30-40 minute drive... that's local!)

So...... tomorrow my plan is to go through that giant pile that's been growing in my closet corner, that has all the clothes that are way too big. Then, sort by season. Anything spring/summer that's in GREAT or better condition, goes to the consignment store. Anything in good-great condition, perhaps goes in an ebay lot, and anything in bad-good condition starts at our neighborhood garage sale in May, and then goes in bags to the Salvation Army/Kidney Foundation.

I will save my size 28 jeans for a while..... I've learned a lesson from other WLS blogs that I should keep a few key pieces, and get rid of the rest. So...... that's the plan.

BTW........ I shopped at ROOTS a store in Toronto, and picked up these little comfy-cozies:

Cute, right? I needed a new hoodie, since my other one is a size XXL from Old Navy, and is starting to look silly-big. So I tried it on, and got a size Large. I also got sweats, and let the salesgirl tell me that a size Medium would be good. So I get home, try them on, the sweatshirt fits perfectly! The sweats fit perfectly, and as I sit in them now, they're a little baggy. I'm laughing to myself that if I get another pair, I should probably get a size small. So I go to the website, and check out the size charts:

A large top is a size 8/10 USA sizing! OMG!!!!

Medium pants are a size 6!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was hoping to start easing into size 8 territory........ but size 6? Could it happen? SHOULD it happen? It's happening NOW..... It's sweatpants, and albeit they have plenty of GIVE...... but size 6?

HELL...... that should be printed on the OUTSIDE of the pants!

OK....... enough rambling. Once I have gone through the traveling pix, I'll upload to share :)

Friday, April 1, 2011

Boy Scout overnight video game campout

Yes........ this will be us tonight. 2/3 of the triplets are in boy scouts, and we have a boy scout video game campout tonight.

Apparently, the adults have a loud and exciting game of UNO.


Gee..... can't wait.

You think if I smuggle in a flask, anyone would notice?