Saturday, November 21, 2009

Stop asking me how much weight I've lost!

I posted this over at, but I'm posting it here as well, since it's currently my biggest struggle.

I am having some fairly serious anxiety with regard to other people mentioning my weight loss. From my highest weight, I am nearly 100 pounds down. But although I feel I can share that with YOU people, I don't like sharing that information with the general population.

I don't mind telling my mom, my husband, my BFF how much weight I've lost, but I don't like telling colleagues, my BFF's parents, my cousins, neighbors, etc. And they KEEP asking.

I've lost/gained 50-80 pounds quite a few times, and when people start talking to me about my weight loss, I start to get uncomfortable with the conversation, and I generally start gaining weight again..... which then stops all the conversation. But now, it's different. It's not going to happen, so I need to figure out how to know in my heart (like I know in my head) that I am not responsible to other people for my weight... I am only responsible to myself. I guess that was part of the problem, was that when I said "I've lost 60 pounds" it made me feel accountable to who I was telling that number to, and I couldn't handle the pressure.

Recently, though, I feel like I've been weighed/measured/evaluated when people ask me how much weight I've lost. I don't like being represented by a number, but it's the question that I get the most, and I'm having a heck of a time trying to figure out how to answer it.

When I do answer "I've lost 60 pounds" the next question is "How much more do you want to lose?" It keeps going around and around, and by the time that I can rip myself from the conversation, I just want to dive into a vat of ice cream.

So my question is this..... does answering the question like this come off as a lie? :

I honestly don't know how much I've lost. I used to be a slave to the scale, and in the end, it was always my demise, and I'd gain back all the weight I've lost. So now, I'm just trying to be healthy, and I'll know once I get to where I'm healthiest what my weight is.

Or do I just say something like "I really don't like to talk about numbers"

I honestly never thought that one of the biggest struggles I'd have during this journey is with answering questions that I think are prying.

I might be a little sensitive to it as well.... being a mother of triplets, the questions/comments when they were babies were incredible! I can't tell you how many times a complete stranger would walk up to me and say "wow... triplets! If it were me, I'd kill myself"

Yup. How does someone respond to that?? Generally.. I'd just say "wow! I guess I should be glad I'm not you then!"


  1. I just got my band a couple weeks ago, but once in the past I lost about 75 pounds (of course I've gained it back) and EVERYONE asked me how much I'd lost, how I did it, etc. I would literally say to people "I actually don't talk about numbers." No one knew how much weight I'd lost. I did it for myself, not for anyone else and didn't feel I needed to share with them just to satisfy their curiosity. It's a quick way to let people know you don't want to discuss your weight loss with them without being rude.

    I have twins and I can totally relate to the crazy comments people have about it. I can imagine people say even more with triplets, but there have been times I've been left speechless due to what people have said about my kids!

  2. I'm with the first option, not being a slave to the scale and eating til you're at a healthy place. Good for you...there are plenty of folks who don't know, so I don't talk numbers or strategies either. Keep up the great work.

  3. I definitely don't like to share with anyone other than close friends how much I've lost. For me, it's really because I don't want them doing the math on where I started! Most people don't ask me that specifically, but some do! One person even yelled across the kitchen at work, WOW YOU'VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT! and She didn't really get why I wasn't loving her yelling it, since she was complimenting me! I say if you aren't comfortable talking about numbers, don't and don't feel bad about it. It's your body and life and you are entitled to your privacy. Good luck!

  4. My dear Karen- I think your response is more than accurate ! there is no need for you to have to devulge info you dont feel comfortable with ! I get why it's a big deal the way I see it is if you're not gonna actively help me with it why are you so concerned with the numbers...I know it sounds a lil standoffish and whatever but this is really your battle and you only want to hear good vibes and stuff not reminders about how much more you need to go. So I think answeing in general terms is a great way to go !!

    BTW I havent forgotten about the clothes just been UBER busy !!!


  5. Hi, thanks for writing. I am going through Beaumont. Dr. Krause. What hospital were you at? I am so glad you wrote to me. You are doing really well in such a short time. Please keep in touch Linda

  6. PS...I love Partridge Creek! My sister lives in Clinton Township, and my bro and nephew in Shelby. I am originally an east sider too, so that is my stomping grounds! Linda

  7. Linda!

    I went to Harper Hospital with Dr. Gazayerli. Can't say enough nice stuff about him :)

    Oh.... to go to the Creek today.... however, it's snowing, I'm broke, and I'm working my ass off (so that I don't STAY broke) So... no creek for me!